While this space does not usually serve as a police blotter, today’s missive will be an exception.  It’s a story of petty crime and stupidity, and it hit a little close to home – - my daughter’s home.

My middle daughter’s house was broken into yesterday afternoon.  She was at work at the time, and came home just as the burglar(s?) was disconnecting wires from her laptop computer.  She called back to the police station where she works and, as you might expect, her brother officers responded in force.

Fingerprints were lifted from the laptop and its wiring, and the canine crew followed a scent out the back door and through a neighbor’s yard.  Time will tell whether anyone is apprehended.

As best she can tell, the only things missing were some pill bottles . . . extra strength Tylenol, a stool softener, and prescription anti-seizure medication.  Her timely arrival saved the laptop, where scores of family photos are stored.

I remember a time when our front door at home was left open in warm weather, and my parents didn’t seem too worried about our safety.  Of course, this was in the 1950s and early 1960s, a much different time.  I also remember when my own children came along that I did not make it a safety checklist approach each night to make sure the front and back doors were locked.

At least, until I was first elected to public office.  Our board meetings were evening affairs, and I was out several nights a week sitting in on public hearings at the town hall.  I remember that frightened and frantic call from home about a prowler peaking through the windows, my wife many months pregnant with daughter number three.

The chief of police was at that public hearing, and I asked him to send a cruiser to my house.  I ran home, too, and although the police dog did pick up a scent, it didn’t lead anywhere and no one was ever arrested.  From that point on, doors were always locked, and I carefully checked every night.

Today, no one gives any thought to locking down their homes like fortresses.  Alarm systems are ubiquitous.  Times have changed, and these “quiet neighborhood” burglaries are common place today.  It was not surprising to learn that “drugs” were the first things taken.

Someone else can wax societally about “drug” problems and the deleterious effects on people and culture and derivative crime and all.  Today, I’m just thinking about that cocktail of drugs the ratbastards took from my daughter’s house yesterday.

His or her “fix” today might not be what he or she envisioned before the crime wave, and it makes me smile just a bit.  Oh, sure, if he/she had a headache after running off so quickly, worried about apprehension, the Tylenol will come in handy.

And, maybe constipation was at the root of the madness that lead to the break in.  If so, once again, he/she is in luck.  That stool softener will do the trick.

The anti-seizure medication, though . . well, that’s a little bit of a problem.  For a person who experiences seizures occasionally, and without specific cause, the medication works wonders.  However, if a person has no history of seizures and does not need the med, it will have a wonder-less effect.  In fact, it will precipitate a seizure.

So, if you happen to be on Cape Cod, and in your travels come upon someone who’s been overcome by a seizure, and who also seems to have very soft stool, please make a citizen’s arrest.  Or at the least, please call the local police and report your find.

You will have helped solve a crime and at the same time helped save a moron from himself.