Cats and dogs, oil and water, celebrities and politicians.  It had seemed like everyone agreed these things don’t, or at least shouldn’t, mix well.  You think you know something, and the next thing you know, you don’t.

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain thought he was being cute when with the merest whiff of a suggestion he told us that presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama was somehow like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.  You know the political commercial by now, of course, and how Obama, like other “celebrities,” isn’t  qualified to lead the United States.  It was pretty slick, and the Hilton and Spears time on the screen was less than three seconds.  But it nonetheless got the point across.

Obama’s retort of a commercial was even slicker and more cutesy – - – raise your hand if you noticed the heart beat in the sound background of Obama’s ad with McCain’s face on the screen.  Apparently the Obama campaign wants to remind us that McCain is old, and that his beating heart could give out sooner than we might want to think.

So, in the commercial duel, who outgunned the other?  Here we are talking about both of the ads, and the chat will likely continue for a while still, so perhaps both landed a solid punch.  But, the fun continued and a third entry was, perhaps, the winner this time around.  Paris Hilton’s spoof of an ad was actually funny and well written, and played better than either McCain’s or Obama’s did.  You can see it on www.funnyordie.com – - that’s Funny Or Die, just to be clear – - and that site is SNL’s Will Ferrell’s site.  The site’s worth a look, as is the Hilton piece.

The Hilton commercial, though, scored what may be a very unintended political win for her, and that is the saddest part of this entire lame brain political assclownery.  During that commercial, she proposed an energy policy that makes more sense than either McCain’s or Obama’s, and that policy proposal was even the subject of a CNN.com poll today.  Last time I looked, those answering the poll question “Whose energy policy to do you believe makes the most sense?” had Hilton’s ahead by about 5% over Obama’s, with McCain’s a close third.

There are two dangers to this evolving dynamic, though, and they are very real.  The first is that Paris Hilton may begin believing she actually has something substantive to contribute to this year’s presidential politics.  That should scare any sentient being on the planet.  It was bad enough having to use one’s imagination for the vision of Monica Lewinsky going down on Bill Clinton in the oval office; with Hilton, you only have to pay a membership fee to any number of online porn sites to watch her video for that same action and money shot. For goodness sake, she introduced herself on that commercial as a “celebrity,” but we’re all hard pressed to see even the form behind the lack of substance there.

The second danger is that other “celebrities” will be encouraged to enter the fray in the belief they have even more to offer than Hilton, each claiming their turn at public policy declarations.  The airwaves could become cluttered with so many from that vapid clique stumbling over themselves attempting to outdo each other in mind-numbing 30-second spots.  Imagine that, as self-absorbed, self-proclaimed celebrities taking themselves far too seriously elbow their way into our living rooms with commercials supporting who knows what causes.

So, let’s nip this in the bud, put a stop to the madness before it gathers any further momentum.  Don’t the federal election laws cover stuff like this?  Doesn’t Hilton’s ad have to identify who paid for it?  Aren’t there financial forms that have to be filed somewhere?  Shouldn’t the Justice Department be looking into this matter?  Where are the lawyers when we need them for a real danger?

It’s bad enough we have to listen to the madness from the McCain and Obama campaigns ad nauseum for the next three plus months while they tell how bad the other fellow is – - you know, the usual way these things go, telling us what to be afraid of, and then telling us who’s to blame for it.  But, we’re used to that, and have come to expect the worst every four years as the political parties bash each other’s brains out.  But, please, have mercy on us – - don’t encourage Paris Hilton to jump into the political mosh pit like that again. Or her friends.